Charles Benayon

Founder & CEO of Aspiria


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Coping Strategies for the Humboldt Broncos Tragedy

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Image courtesy of Sportsnet

It has been bittersweet this past week to see the world come together over the tragic loss of so many members of the Humboldt Broncos hockey team, which occurred on Friday, April 6th.

Tragedies like this bring to my mind a pebble that’s been thrown into water: it touches so much more than the direct point of impact. Like ripples in the water, the unexpected loss of life has impacted many people, from the families of the deceased to the survivors, the local community, Canadians, and people around the world. We are all indirect victims of this tragedy.

Everyone is uniquely affected by the Humboldt tragedy. Based on my experience working with individuals in crisis, I’ve outlined some suggestions to help you cope and maybe even support those people who are having a terrible time making sense of what happened in Humboldt.

Directly Impacted

Life-altering events like this one have a profound impact on our lives, and we may never fully feel whole again after the loss of a loved one.

We all experience grief differently, but the important thing to keep in mind is that you allow yourself time to grieve. Know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and those around you will do whatever they can to support you during this difficult time.

If you find that this event may have triggered buried emotions or perhaps even PTSD, reach out to a grief counsellor as soon as possible to discuss your feelings and emotional state.

Indirectly Affected

Even if you have not been directly affected by this tragedy, you may know someone who was. Make sure they are getting the help they need but also tread lightly, as everyone deals with crisis differently. If they ask to be alone, leave them alone, but check in every couple of days to make sure they are okay. It may seem difficult to find a balance between being too involved and not involved enough, but they will appreciate your efforts in the long run.

You may also be indirectly affected because you are a parent of a child on a hockey team, you have children the same age, or you are a compassionate human being. If you find that you are out of sorts and are having difficulty focusing because of this tragedy, talk about it with your support system, whether it is a family member, a friend, or a work colleague. Also know that professional counsellors are available to support you during this or other difficult times in your life.

Show Your Support

No matter how you may be connected to this tragedy, here are some ways you can join the growing support for the Humboldt community:

  • Wear a Jersey. People from all walks of life having been donning sports jerseys in support of Jersey Day. Share your jersey picture and well wishes on Twitter using #JerseysForHumboldt.
  • An indication of the far-reaching effects of this tragedy is the millions of dollars that have been raised worldwide in such a short period for the families of the hockey team. A GoFundMe campaign has been created to raise money for the families and survivors of the crash. No amount of money will take away the pain the survivors and families are facing, but every donation helps ease any potential financial strain they may experience as a result of the crash, and donating can also make you feel good about doing something to support the victims.
  • Become an Organ Donor. If you aren’t already an organ donor, perhaps this event may be your inspiration to become one. Logan Boulet, one of the victims of the crash, will be greatly missed, but his passing means that six other people will live because of his organ donor status. For information on registration, you can visit Service Ontario.

For the survivors, the families of the victims, and the community, I imagine that it is extremely difficult to cope while there are many unanswered questions. As long as the investigation is ongoing, even those outside of the community can relate to the need for closure.

If the Humboldt crash directly affects you or if you relate to it in any way, I encourage you to seek counselling. You are not alone.

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Holiday Addictive Behaviour

halloween2_cs4The holiday season is upon us! Regardless of which religious holiday you celebrate, for many, December is a month focused on eating, drinking, and shopping. Naturally, this time proves difficult for those with addictive personalities, those recovering from an addiction, or those still living with one. Not only is the temptation high due to the activities occurring throughout the month, but the stress of the season also weighs heavily on some, due to family or financial pressures.

It is important to recognize that addiction is not only limited to drugs and alcohol. Addiction can manifest itself in many forms, including food, shopping, casino and on-line gambling, sex and even internet use. Regardless of the addiction that you or someone you know is dealing with, I would like to offer some suggestions for successfully overcoming temptation during the holidays.

  1. Mentally Prepare
    • Ignorance is not bliss in this situation. Acknowledge that the holidays may be especially difficult for you, and prepare to face temptation and triggers head-on. Run through possible scenarios in your head, and actively plan how you will manage them.
  2. Know Yourself
    • If you recognize your triggers, learn how best to deal with them. This could be going for a walk, talking to a friend, or writing out your feelings. Remember, what works for you might be different than what works for someone else.
  3. Avoid Negative Influences
    • If you know a certain situation will bring along people or activities that will test you, avoid them altogether. This may not always be possible with family commitments, but do your best to stay away from the optional events that you know will be difficult to get through.
  4. Create a Support System
    • Reach out to those closest to you for support. Share with them your struggles and let them know how they can help you, whether by keeping you accountable or diffusing negative situations for you.

While the holidays can prove to be a stressful, tempting, and overwhelming time, try to see the good in it all. Stay positive and focused, and the road to recovery may not seem so bleak! Every hurdle is another accomplishment to add to your list.

What has helped you manage similar issues during the holiday time? We’d like to hear about your personal experiences. Please share with us in the comments.


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The Need for Resiliency in Your Life

resilience-plantResiliency is a term that has been gaining much traction in the mental health industry over the last couple of years because of its connectedness to improved wellbeing. Like many terms in the mental health industry, we hear it all the time, but what exactly does it mean to you on an every day level?

Simply put, resiliency is an individual’s ability to bounce back from setbacks or challenges in life with confidence and self-esteem in tact by harnessing inner strength. Resiliency is our defense against difficult times in that, as a skill, it allows us to see past the immediate period of hardship and into the future of more hopeful times. Resilient people have the ability to make realistic plans and carry them out while maintaining their self-esteem and a positive view of self and their abilities, even when negative life events challenge their confidence and energy.

Difficult events that challenge an individual’s resiliency could include death of a loved one, loss of a job, a relationship break-up, financial issues, etc. although all life events, large and small, could have an effect on an individual’s ability to cope.

Having a better understanding of the term, do you recognize people who exhibit resiliency in their lives? While it may seem innate or that you’re born with certain defences against life’s challenges, resiliency is actually a skill that is developed and honed as a result of a strong personal support network and experience with manageable challenges that helped build problem-solving skills.

Without a certain level of resiliency, individuals can be more vulnerable to destructive coping habits, such as substance abuse, self-harm and poor self-esteem that can develop into mental illnesses requiring professional support, such as depression and anxiety. As mental health issues become more prevalent in Canadians, particularly Canadian children, the mental health industry recognizes the need for patients to develop coping skills as preventative measures to mental illness. With improved learning and academic achievement, reduced risky behaviour and improved physical health, developing resiliency is a skill that will continue to serve the individual throughout life.

How can YOU practice resiliency in your life, and encourage it in others?

  • Get connected: Resiliency is less about “going it alone” and more about your ability to recognize when you need other people and relying on this support network.
  • Experience emotions: Experience your emotions as you need to heal, but recognize when fully experiencing emotions at all times may inhibit regular functioning and focus on concentrating on your routine.
  • Avoid seeing events as never-ending crises: Find perspective and recognize when things are getting a little better as this will help you retain hope.
  • Learn from experience: Learn to be reflective about your experiences and take note of how you handled things in the past to channel these tactics in the present.
  • Be proactive: Don’t allow things that ARE in your control get out of control, such as bills, chores, errands, etc. Keep a sense of purpose and accomplishment in your life by managing tasks you can handle.

Do you recognize people with resiliency in your life? What tactics do you use to get through difficult life situations? I look forward to your thoughts below.